Sunday, March 6, 2011

thoughts and feelings.

Today I am homesick.

We went to church today. The service was only three hours long and we got to sit in the back. All through church I was a little grumpy and irritated. The benches we sat on were uncomfortable, I couldn’t keep my skirt from getting dirty on the ground, and I was annoyed because I couldn’t understand anything. Taylor finally asked me what was wrong and I just told him I don’t know, on the verge of tears. Now I know. I am homesick.

Please pray for me. Brenda says it’s about time for me to be missing home, and it’s normal. I hate it. I would rather be focusing on the work we can do here, rather than what it’s going to be like to go home. I miss my friends, my family, even my students!

I want to be entirely here. I want to completely dive in and really soak up this trip. I want to see God at work in really big ways and I’ve only seen glimpses. My attitude is no good and I hate that because I don’t want to ruin this opportunity for us, especially Taylor. He’s been dreaming of coming here since I’ve known him, and now we’re here and I want to go home. Please pray that this passes. Pray that I lean on God for my strength, that I get rid of this stomach ache I get when I think about the time I still have left. I want that stomach ache to be excitement, not sadness.

I’ll be home when our work is done. That will be a good day. But I can’t keep thinking about that day. I need to think about these next seven weeks spent here. We will be doing some great things. I’m ready for it.

Anyway, rant over. Thanks for reading.

One more thing. I just talked to Taylor about this blog, he’s also homesick… for paintball. He is seriously considering making a fake gun out of bamboo and practicing some techniques. I guess I’m not the only one. :)

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